No love interest
by RedTori90
Summary: Kakuzu wondered how is Deidara still alive after all these years, when clearly he is as annoying as Hidan. He gets his answer, only for it to affect his partnership with Hidan. First ever writen smut. KakuHida SasoDei. Rated M. Sorry for any mistakes


**Some of the Akatsuki members wondered, just how did the artistic duo do it? How was it that a mortal like Deidara was still alive, when clearly he always got on Sasoris' nerves? The boy should have been killed a few years back, but he was still alive and kicking. Most of them thought for sure that Sasori would have killed the blonde in his sleep. **

**Kakuzu had had these thoughts running through his head every day. What was their secret? He had gone through so many partners, none of which had lasted long. He killed them whenever he got annoyed by them, and soon he had another partner thrust upon him within a matter of days. **

**But when Hidan came along, it became the end of his partner killing days. That would have been because Hidan was immortal, and no matter what Kakuzu did, the Jashinist would annoy him anyway. Head still in place or not. Upon Hidans' arrival was also the time in which the mystery of Deidaras' survival was uncovered. It was an answer that Kakuzu tried to forget.**

"**I hear those two are pissed off with one another again?" Kakuzu inquired, as his partner came back into their shared room. For a time, Hidan did not speak to Kakuzu. Kakuzu could feel his anger rising, and especially when he realised that Hidan was trying his best not to laugh. While Hidan was turned facing away from Kakuzu, the miser pulled out a Kunai, and threw it at Hidan. It embedded itself in the Jashinists' back.**

"**OW. WHAT THE FUCK? YOU JACKASS" magenta eyes narrowed as they landed on Kakuzu. It was obvious that the artists were not the only ones pissed off in the base now.**

**Kakuzu merely rolled his eyes as his partner fumed; trying to grab the kunai in his back "You wouldn't answer me, so I thought I would get your attention"**

"**BY THROWING A KUNAI AT ME?" Hidan yelled. By now he should be used to Kakuzu causing him injuries like this, but he still used it as an excuse to shout, voice carrying down the hallways.**

"**Lower your voice, will you, before I remove your head" Kakuzu was completely unfazed by Hidan yelling at him, as were most other members were. Deidara was the last one to get used to his outbursts, and Tobi was still prone to crying.**

"**Whatever, asshole" Hidan glared at his partner, before leaving the room. It had been one of those rare occasions where Kakuzu had been willing to have a conversation with his partner, and Hidan knew he was in trouble later.**

**Meanwhile, the question of the two artists still lingered in Kakuzus' mind. There was only one way to find out. The two of them were pissed now weren't they? So all he had to do was go see them and see just what happens.**

**Noises were heard from the other side of the door, none of which had ever been heard in the base before. Kakuzu could make out a grunting noise, and there was a slightly muffled sound, almost like a scream. Not really knowing why the noises were being emitted from whoever was in the room, he opened the door, curiosity eating away at him. He froze at the two males before him.**

"**Kakuzu…urgh…get…out!"**

**Having five hearts, he thought he may have just lost one. Before him were the two artists he had wanted to see, doing what he wished he hadn't seen. Deidara had his face buried in the pillow of his bed, hips raised. Sasori was over him, pounding into Deidara at such a furious pace. It was no wonder that the blonde was screaming into his pillow. Another muffled scream was heard from underneath long blonde hair, as Sasori gave one hard thrust. That scream woke up Kakuzu.**

**Finally finding the strength to tear his eyes away from the sight, the stitched nin left the artists room, letting them continue their anger driven sex. So that is how they did it. The two would be too exhausted after that to argue with one another later and too tired to kill. **

**Having found out his answer to the three year mystery, Kakuzu walked back to his room in utter silence, wondering what would muse him next. He also wondered if he would ever be able to get the image of Deidara and Sasori out of his head. That was too much. The sight had mentally scared him.**

"**Oh, hi Kakuzu"**

**The dark skinned ninja turned to see who had spoken to him, coming face to face with the Akatsukis' only female member, Konan. Though she looked as calm as she always did, there seemed to be something off about her, a sly look in her eyes.**

"**Er…Hi Konan" he looked down to see a partially hidden camera "care to explain what that is for?"**

**She merely hummed, moving her head side to side slightly, before walking off. She was not going to talk about her hidden motives, but seeing the direction she was headed in, gave Kakuzu a hint as to what she was up to. He paled, suddenly feeling very sick. He needed to lie down.**

**Once he entered his room, he went to his bed, lying down on his back. He let out a heavy sigh, closing eyes and praying no stray images would enter his mind. He wanted rest, as those few minutes he had been out of his room had taken it out of him. As well as shortening his life.**

"**Yo Kuzu, you feeling Ok?"**

**Without opening his eyes to see who was in the room, Kakuzu groaned in response, turning away from his partner. The Jashinist was back, much to his dismay. How he had wished he had been left to his rest, maybe get some sleep. But that would never happen with Hidan around. And when had he given Hidan permission to call him 'Kuzu'?**

"**What did you just call me?" the question didn't sound so threatening, more exasperated than anything.**

"**Kuzu"**

"**You do know that means 'rubbish' in Japanese"**

**Chuckling could be heard, as well as footsteps moving towards Hidans' side of the room. He had probably came back to prepare himself for one of his rituals. With the small amount of new gained strength he had, Kakuzu sat up, groaning once again.**

"**I couldn't really care less what it means; I just wanted to shorten your name down"**

**Eyes slowly opened while rubbing his temples. Great, now he knew how Sasori felt when Deidara gave him the name 'Danna'. Ok, so it wasn't so much a name as a suffix. And being called Master would only increase Sasoris' ego. It probably added to Deidara not being killed.**

**Though Kakuzu would never get that kind of luck with his new partner. The name he was given was not so flattering, and sadly, Kakuzu would not be able to stop Hidan from calling him that. Leading Kakuzu to become further frustrated. Leading him to kill whomever came into contact with him.**

**Looking over to see why Hidan had yet to leave the room, Kakuzu could see that the Jashinist was putting away his scythe. So he had already done his ritual, which meant…**

"**HIDAN! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT WALKING INTO THE ROOM COVERED IN BLOOD?" Kakuzu bellowed, staring death at his partner "YOU'RE DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE FLOOR"**

**The ever uncaring Hidan merely rolled his eyes, before smirking at his irritated partner. Wrong response. The next second found Hidan pinned to the nearest wall by Kakuzu, hand now hardened with the intent to do damage. The smirk was now wiped off Hidans' face showing an almost pitiful look. A small whimpering noise came from Hidan, who had yet to recover from his ritual. And he really didn't want to become headless. Normally his body would be left on the floor amongst the dirt, and Kakuzu would hand Tobi the head to play football with. When Kakuzu did bother to stitch him back together, he would be all battered, and have two black eyes and a broken nose. He was lucky not to have lost any teeth yet. Though he was certain it was only a matter of time.**

**Upon seeing Kakuzu raise a hand, he jammed his eyes shut, expecting the threads to appear and take off his head. It wasn't until he felt hot breath on his neck that his eyes snapped open. Kakuzu had his head buried in Hidans' neck.**

"**You know, I like the sound of you whimpering" Kakuzus' voice sounded husky, and sent a chill down Hidans' spine "I wonder how I can take this further?"**

**Wondering what Kakuzu meant by that question, he was caught off guard as he felt the sharp tip of a kunai on his side. Not really wanting to scream, or yell, Hidan whimpered as he felt the kunai being dragged downwards. More blood ran down his muscular frame, soaking his pants further. The whimpering continued as Kakuzu continued to leave fresh cuts down random parts of the body, cutting up the cloak as he went. Hidan would need a new one anyway. He always managed to get it cut up somehow, so what did it matter if the cause this time was Kakuzu?**

**The sounds being emitted from Hidan was music to Kakuzus' ears. Normally Hidan had been so confident, so cocky. Where was that attitude now? They both knew that Hidan was at Kakuzus' mercy, since the first time Kakuzu had sewn the foul mouthed man's head back on his body. But all other times he had been sure that Kakuzu would not leave him defenceless. Now however, he wasn't sure. Should he let Kakuzu carry on with this? Or should he attempt to stop him? All thoughts were cut off when Kakuzu bit just below the recent stitching, making Hidan shout out in surprise.**

"**WHAT THE HELL?"**

"**Shut up" Kakuzu growled, before finishing his work of tearing the cloak, letting it fall to the floor. Kakuzu stepped back to look at his handy work. Now faced with a pale chest that was covered in cuts and slashes made by Kakuzu himself. The one wound made by Hidan, where he had obviously speared himself during his ritual. Hidan hated pain, and only went through with it to please his god. He could tolerate self inflicted pain. He just didn't do too well when someone else inflicted pain on him. Looking at that one wound made by Hidan, Kakuzu raised a hand, and pressed it against the gaping hole.**

**Yet again Hidan whimpered at the pain. Kakuzu found himself troubled by the noise, and the sight of his partner as blood ran down him. Kakuzu gave a hungry stare at the sight, wanting more of the flesh, the blood. He wanted to hear the pitiful sounds Hidan made, to hear him scream. He could see images of Hidan, just the way he wanted him. Sick and perverted. Who knew Kakuzu would turn gay after watching the artists. **

**Hidan had no time to question what was going on, what was going on in Kakuzus' mind. One minute, he was trying to endure the pain in his abdomen, the next he was thrown onto his bed. Opening his eyes, he saw Kakuzu joining him on the bed, cloak and head gear now removed. His eyes looked hungry, determined. And if Hidan was not mistaken, a sadistic look hidden behind the first two.**

"**Kakuzu, what are you doing?" Kakuzu smirked at the scared tone of Hidans' voice. Had this been how Sasori had seen things his first time? Had he injured Deidara to the point where he had felt lust towards his partner?**

**In answer to Hidans' question, Kakuzu yanked off the Jashinists remaining clothing. There was no need to be gentle. There was no romance in this, so what would be the point in being caring. Hidan yelped, and looked like he was going to yell at Kakuzu. Only he was cut off as Kakuzu roughly turned him over so that he was on his stomach. Now Hidan knew what was going on, but the knowledge of what his partner was doing to him came as no comfort. Instead, it only made him panic. He could deal with the threats, the beatings. Heck, he could even deal with his head being cut off. But this…this was too much.**

**During his mild panic, he had not noticed that Kakuzu had left him for a while to undress and now rejoined Hidan on the bed. He grabbed Hidans' hips as he positioned himself.**

"**Kakuzu…"**

"**This will hurt"**

**With that being his only warning, Kakuzu thrust himself into Hidan. A scream pierced the air, as Hidans' hands searched for something to grab hold of, anything. The only thing he could find was a pillow, and his hands held it in a death grip. There was so much pain in his ass, and he was not being given any time to get used to it. Kakuzu did not hesitate to pull out to the head, before thrusting back in. Once again a scream tore through Hidan, already leaving his throat sore.**

**The screams were heaven, yet he couldn't help a tiny smirk when he heard Hidan moan loudly, body jerking slightly. He had hit the man's prostate. After that, things had become better on Hidans' side. His screams were now that of pain and pleasure mixed.**

**As much as he was enjoying this, frustration now something thrown to the back of his mind, he couldn't help but feel that he was close to nearing his edge. And damn, if Hidan was not close to. There was no way he was going to cum before Hidan. In a desperate attempt to make Hidan cum first, he brought a hand round to Hidans' dripping member, and pumped him in time with his thrusts. Soon he felt Hidans' body jerk, and heard him let out a loud moan as he released in Kakuzus' hand. Hidans' body then went limp, as Kakuzu felt himself on the edge. He gripped Hidans' hips hard enough to bruise as he released in the younger man. He let out a husky moan, continuing to thrust into Hidan to ride out his orgasm. **

**For a few minutes, the room was filled with the sound of panting as the two refilled their oxygen deprived lungs. Once he felt he was able to move again, Kakuzu pulled out, and got up to redress himself. Hidan on the other hand, remained on the bed until Kakuzu had gone back over to his desk. He then fought against the pain in his backside, as he too got up to get dressed.**

"**You know, that was kinda fun" **

**He started to limp over to the door, cursing how his body could not absorb the pain. Where had Kakuzu got this idea from? It was obvious that there was no love interest between the two. And Kakuzu had had no sexual desires. So why had it happened?**

"**Where are you going?" Kakuzu asked, not turning around to look at his partner. Hidan turned and gave his partner a crooked grin "I have to take care of these injuries. Otherwise you'll be complaining about the amount of blood in the room"**

**(Meanwhile)**

"**Danna. What is the betting that Kakuzu is down to four hearts now?"**

**Sasori had always been able to recover rather quickly, but Deidara was still exhausted. He remained on the bed, covers now pulled up to cover him incase anyone else came into the room. **

"**I doubt he lost a heart seeing us two" came Sasoris' monotone voice, the puppeteer sitting naked at his desk, not bothering to get dressed afterwards "why aren't you asleep?"**

**Deidara turned so that his body was turned in the direction of Sasori "I'm going, just not asleep just yet, un"**

**The room went silent again, apart from the sounds of Sasori carving another limb to his latest creation. It was a few minutes before anything was said again.**

"**You know Danna. I only annoy you for those short minutes together un. Otherwise I wouldn't bother"**

**Sasori halted his work at these words, eyes now wide a fraction. He turned around to say something to his partner, to find that Deidara had finally fallen asleep. A small smile tugged at his lips, as he turned back to carry on his work. Though he would never admit it, he rather enjoyed those moments too. And maybe next time Deidara wouldn't have his face buried in the pillow. **


End file.
